Formative years used to end about age twenty-three. I use the word formative liberally, to include the years one is in college because the peer pressure is still strong and the brain is being used constantly (hopefully). By that time, you could pretty much assume that a person had some inkling as to what good manners were (even if he/she wasn't using them), a basic understanding that hard work didn't entitle you to whine, and that there was no such thing as 24/7 happiness. Working, giving, volunteering, enjoying the joyful moments, living through grief, paying a mortgage, and the beat goes on.....was all part of a FULL life.
I am not trying to beat up on young people because quite frankly- I know many forty something clueless sha-nay-nay women and many middle aged self-absorbed men who have not reached the conclusion of their own formative years. (You may know who you are.) Those of you who are in your twenties have an advantage right here: you can decide to reach the end of your formative years. How do you do that and what does that have to do with economics?
Most importantly, please quit expecting your parents to be or do something for you. They may not have reached adulthood (even though they look old). At some point you have have to break the umbilical chord if they refuse to do it. Codependency is a huge issue for many modern cultures and sometimes boundaries have to be set up so you can grow up. A good rule of thumb: Don't let others do for you if you can do for yourself. Of course, that means you may have to do your own laundry, shop for your own food, and pay your own bills. Shocker, I know. What you should let others do for you: pray for you, buy you a birthday present, converse with you because they care, and help pay for your education if they can. And you can't change them no matter how awful they are or appear to be to you. Acceptance of them without being a door mat is a huge step toward becoming a grown-up who knows how to reconcile the ideal with reality.
Secondly, inject something into your culture that is worth the effort. You have to be really careful with this one. Don’t rely on emotionally inordinate dramatized visions of grandiosity when thinking up this idea. Pretend your seventy-five; what would you make, say, or do that will define what is in your soul for posterity? Think about how Tolkien portrayed Gandalf or Michelangelo sculpted the Pieta. These things are deep in you and will be magnificent examples of truth, beauty, and goodness. Every single person has this magnificence in them. I teach by bringing ideas to young people in a way that they can picture and become a part of. I can’t sing or draw very well, but I can get others excited about little things deep in them. It may not seem like much but it is what is in me that has to be shared with others.
Finally, (maybe this is actually more important) try to laugh at yourself. My gosh, I know old bitter people, who are on the verge of exploding like glass. Those types usually end up drinking too much or sulking their lives away. You know the type? They sometimes appear like life is grand but you really don’t know if you can trust them or if they are on some odd drug. Scary. Stay away. I think they must have forgotten that blushing is normal and that blundering can cause contagious belly laughs. It just makes life a little more bearable. And do not become one of those sarcastic oafs who makes fun of others; it only makes you look like you have an inferiority complex. Besides, if you want to be a real grown-up you don’t have time for brassy rudeness.
Tomorrow: What does this all have to do with economics?
No comments:
Post a Comment